March 2012
had such an awesome day.
so awesome that i’m gonna be one of those people to bullet point all the things that happened in their day:
woke up to a yummy breakfast made by my bby stacy <3 <3
dropped my car off at the mechanic’s
ran to the gym and had an AMAZING 2.5 hour workout
had lunch at starbucks that was just as amazing
caught up with my boothang until my car was finished
got home and cleaned...
February 2012
1 tag
i hope rick santorum goes to the corner store to get a can of delicious arizona iced tea and when he takes out his wallet he grabs it wrong and it opens at a weird angle and all his change and his bank card and drivers license fall out and everyone behind him in line is looking at him like “wow what an idiot” while he frantically tries to pick up all his pennies
1 tag
remember when i used to post original stuff?
haaaahahahahahha me neither.
2 tags
2 tags
dearscience:
you’re all going to liveblog the oscars aren’t you
1 tag
Watchkevinjp:
same
3 tags
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.
1 tag
1 tag
If Common Sense Was Used in Government and the...
Citizen: I don't believe in abortion.
Government: Then don't get one.
Citizen: I don't believe in birth control.
Government: You don't have to use it.
Citizen: I think gay marriage is a sin.
Government: Don't marry the same sex then.
Citizen: I want my kids to learn about creationism.
Government: Take them to church.
1 tag
3 tags
Everyone in this entire town: OH MY GOD FUN. IS COMING IN JUNE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I CAN DIE HAPPY! THEY'RE THE BOMBBBBB!!!!!!
Me: (still crying from The Format hiatus in 2008)
i swear to god i will open wrists if i dont have...
somewhere in or around my mouth
I NEEEEED IT
